Thursday, November 8, 2012

Living in NYC kind of sucks

New York City can render you insignificant in a matter of days.

It's not that I don't love the idea of being here, because I do. But it bears zero resemblance to the Sex and the City dreaminess that I fantasized about. Those chicks never took the train, never ended up in a rat-infested apartment with crazy roommates and had no concept of a budget pb&j-for-lunch lifestyle.

I did start out starry-eyed and looking up at buildings like they tell you not to do if you want to blend in. But as the schlepping ensued and I began throwing elbows to get in trains and watching businessmen pick their noses and wipe the findings on the New York Daily News, the charm waned. And I have yet to see a flash mob in Grand Central Station.

Or, maybe Grand Central lives in a perpetual state of flashmob-ness. It is a mass gathering and everyone does move in time--all scurrying to trains about to leave them and all appearing somewhat uniform.

Here's what all the women look like:

Trench coat. Scarf. Standard I-work-in-NYC Longchamp Le Pliage tote poised where the arm folds so they can hold their coffee. Face? Pinched. Gait? Stomping fiercely toward jobs they probably don't care much about.

Here's what all the men look like:

Suit. Tie. Maybe a tie clip if they've gotten bored enough. Face? Sapped. Gait? Strolling confidently because they are probably used to being important.

To be fair, I work very close to Wall St. so perhaps the midtown men and women look different and so do the ones from downtown and so do the ones from Brooklyn. I look forward to seeing them. To be further fair, I am commuting from Scarsdale, better known as you-do-not-live-in-NYC-at-all-not-even-close. I imagine when I find my place and I'm sitting on a stoop somewhere and have just affirmed that "yes, this train stops at Seventh Ave," and am officially referring to Bowery as "the Bowery," I'll feel a little more at home.

For now, I'm off to see two apartments in Brooklyn and they are not off the L, which I have been told is the only acceptable place to live in BK, so we'll see. 
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